To be called a martyr these days is generally not a good thing. It usually means that someone thinks you complain too much; that you are a great or constant sufferer (complainer). But to be a martyr is a great thing: 1 : a person who voluntarily suffers death as the penalty of witnessing to and refusing to renounce a religion, or 2 : a person who sacrifices something of great value and especially life itself for the sake of principle.
That seems to be what OC is talking about when he refers to being “broken bread and pour out wine.” As he says today “I don’t care whether you love me or not, I am willing to destitute myself completely, not merely for your sakes, but that I may get you God.”
Ideally, we pour out our lives loving folks not because they love us but because God has loved us. We call that kind of love “Agape.” But the truth is we want to and need to feel we are loved and if we say we don’t care whether we are loved, we lie.
One of the sad truths of life is that often we are loved, we just don’t know it; and we love others but they don’t know it. The problem is that we have different ways of expressing our love and we are so constructed that different things make us feel loved.
Speaking of “love”, this week on K-Love (the Christian radio, locally 90.9 FM) during the morning show, there has been a focus on The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman..
The premise of the book is that there are essentially five different ways that we love and receive love. Chapman calls them “love languages.” If you know your own love language, you can better understand yourself. If you know another’s language you can better express love to them. There is a quiz you can take to help you identify your language. In simplified form, by selecting which of the following is true for you, you can identify your love language. It turns out most of us have a primary and secondary love language. Taking the quiz was enlightening and helpful for me. Take the quiz here.
- I feel especially loved when people express how grateful they are for me, and for the simple, everyday things I do.
- I feel especially loved when a person gives me undivided attention and spends time alone with me.
- I feel especially loved by someone who brings me gifts and other tangible expressions of love.
- I feel especially loved when someone pitches in to help me, perhaps by running errands or taking on my household chores.
- I feel especially loved when a person expresses feelings for me through physical contact.
While it is true, that we should be willing to be “broken bread and pour out wine” for our Savior. And that in doing so we should not expect anything back from those for whom we sacrifice. It is also true that it is a sad tragedy when we miss conveying and receiving love not because there is no love but because of a language barrier.
Take the quiz. Discover how you love and how you are built to be loved and feel love when it’s there and be broken bread and poured out wine the rest of the time and in all times,