Bumper Bummers


Got some bumper stickers recently to promote my law practice. Pretty classy, right? Informative, but not too flashy. No picture of me. That’s got to be a plus.

Then I realized I can’t just go out and stick them on random cars. Although my grandson volunteered to do just that. Got to love the enthusiasm of the young. Then I had an inspiration. With the election over (almost) there must be folks who backed the wrong candidates and now have embarrassing bumper stickers on their cars.  

Bumper stickers are like tatoos. What once seemed like a good idea, isn’t always.  Ever try to get a bumper sticker off? Now half of America supported Clinton. Some of those people must have slapped stickers on their vehicles in a moment of foolish passion. What if she ends up in jail? What are you going to do then? You could be an accessory, before and after the fact. 

Even if you supported Trump, you know he’s going to say something that’s going to make you want to lick his sticker off your bumper. You really want to lose sleep over that? 

We all have ideas that seem clever at the time and then later…not so much. Perhaps you got caught up in a cause and couldn’t control yourself. It’s usually too late when you realize that bumper stickers don’t come off easily. You think you are stuck with your past indiscretions, whether few or multiple. 

Should you have this problem, I think we can help each other. Send me your address and I will send you one of my bumper stickers post-paid and free of charge (I always wanted to say that.) Stick it over your past mistakes. You avoid embarrassment and I get free advertising. Okay, so it’s not a billboard or a television ad but it’s a start. 

If I were you I’d act quickly. People are talking about your bad taste in bumper stickers. I would like to say “supplies are limited” or “get yours before they are gone” but there’s enough false lawyer advertising out there. I’m trying to solve problems, not add to them.

No thanks necessary. It’s just what I do. 


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