Deciding to Forgive

If we’re going to enjoy loving relationships, we have to learn to forgive. Hurt follows relationship like night follows day. We can’t deeply connect with another without hurt. In fact, the closer the relationship, the deeper the hurt. But forgiveness seems so hard.  Maybe it will help to remember what forgiveness isn’t.
Forgiveness isn’t forgetting. When we confess our sins, God forgives and forgets. In case you’re confused, let me set you straight. You’re not God. Don’t expect to have His qualities. Pray that He will help you forget. But forgiveness is a decision that doesn’t automatically promise forgetfulness. 
Forgiveness isn’t a return of trust. Just because we have forgiven, doesn’t mean we immediately can trust, or that we should. We are often hurt because we were unwise about whom we chose to trust. Forgiveness doesn’t mean we have to be stupid once again. A key to successful relationships is not just learning to trust, but learning whom to trust. 
Forgiveness includes self. Self is involved in forgiveness in two important ways. First, it’s all about self. We don’t forgive to help the offending person. They are likely unhurt and often unaware of our unforgiveness.  We forgive because He commands it. He commands it because the bitterness of not forgiving robs us of the joy He promises and the growth He brings. 
Finally, self is the person most often in need of forgiveness. Often the hurt we have caused stares us in the face each day. Because the ones we have hurt midst often are the ones we life with. We have to forgive ourselves. Without that we can’t move on to all that God has for us. 
Forgive and be blessed. 
Nick. 

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