Yesterday I discussed the difficulty of distinguishing between accusation and conviction. Both begin with a feeling of “guilt.” Yesterday I experienced another “guilt” experience that’s very strange. I had an episode in which my blood pressure fell low…very low. I have to admit that after years of saying I’m ready to be with Jesus whenever He’s ready, the reality of what I perceived as a life threatening situation, gave me a huge dose of reality. I’m not ready to go. I still have things to do, lots of things to do.
Even in the midst of that situation I never lost the sense of the blessing of God’s presence. While in the hospital I have witnessed many other patients suffering much greater pain with their recovery than I have experienced. Why have I been so blessed to survive? Why have I been so blessed to suffer less than others?
There is a feeling of guilt which comes with that experience. I know that like the guilt that comes with Satan’s accusations, the guilt of blessing is not healthy. Blessing should inspire us to recognize we have responsibility and purpose. To whom much is given much is expected.
It’s not enough to say “Thank you Jesus.” I need to act thankfully. There is much that needs to be done. Let’s get going and do it.
Thanks for all the encouraging emails and prayers. I am headed home from the hospital today and your prayers played a huge part.