My last post was entitled “Know Your Enemy.” Although sometimes it seems nearly everyone is your enemy, eventually I came to the personal conclusion that just maybe my only enemy is Satan. This got me wondering about friends. I have done a bit of research and I discovered that problem one is that there isn’t much agreement on what a friend is.
Can we all agree that it isn’t what Facebook says it is? According to those guys I have 485 “friends.” Just a quick look at the lists reveals there are people on the list I don’t know, couldn’t pick out in a crowd, and couldn’t id to the police if they assaulted me. Let’s agree “Facebook friend” does not always equal “friend.”
I tried gathering some definitions.
One dictionary says a friend is “a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of (1) sexual or (2) family relations.” Since I want to consider my wife a friend, and she is disqualified for two reasons, I have decided to try to find another definition.
The Urban dictionary offers this: “A real friend is someone who: a)it’s okay to fart in front of. b)you don’t mind talking to on the bus for at least 20 minutes. c)can borrow $5 and never have to pay it back.” If I use that definition I have no friends.
Another definition was “a person who is not an enemy.” Since I decided yesterday that only Satan is truly an enemy. This would make everyone my friend, comforting but unrealistic.
How about this one? A friend is a person whom one knows, likes, and trusts. This one is interesting. Does it mean that it is possible to like and trust someone you don’t know? I guess those might be the easiest people to like and trust, the ones you don’t know. I know people I like but don’t trust or trust but don’t like. This one is just too complicated.
I finally settled on this one: A friend is someone you like to be with. My wife qualifies so this one passes the first test. This one is simple and straight forward. It can include family, but not all family qualifies. I like its flexibility. I can like to be with some people sometimes, but not always. I can like to be with some people for an hour, but couldn’t handle them for a day.
I guess the next step is to figure out who I like to be with. That one is easy. I like to be with people who will listen and love me no matter what stupid things I say. I guess my ramblings have lead me to this important conclusion. If I want to have friends, I need to learn to listen and show love no matter what stupid things are said. Man, this friendship thing is tough.
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