We all have a leadership role. We have spheres of influence. We impact the lives of others. We may feel unimportant if our spheres of influence are small. We may feel ineffective if we don’t seem to be impacting those with whom we come into contact. We need to act differently if we are to fulfill our roles.
Here are some tips.
Spend at least 15 minutes listening. Every day, spend at least 15 minutes listening. One of our great frustrations, especially as we age, is that the ones we love don’t seem to listen to us. We don’t want others to learn lessons the hard way. They don’t seem to believe we have anything to give to the issues that they face. The only way to turn this around is to stop talking and start listening. Listening is a fantastic gift. Almost everyone feels that no one listens to them. The person who is willing to listen suddenly becomes a very important person to someone else.
If you know you’ve not a very good listener, here are some great tips.
Say, “Tell me more.” When the person you are listening to stops talking, don’t fall into the trap of thinking, “It’s my turn.” While you are listening, don’t sit there planning what you are going to say and looking for an opportunity to say it. Since most of us are not used to being listened to, we tend to stop talking after a very short time. We expect the other person to want to get their “two cents” in. This is your opportunity to really impress. Instead of diving in with all the wisdom you have about this situation, say “Tell me more.” Chances are the person you are listening to has just covered the surface. A willingness to listen for as long as it takes, gives the much need opportunity to talk about the deeper issues that are really causing problems.
Allow some doubt. Especially when listening to younger folks, we tend to think “that will never work” or “that’s not what I would do.” Things are a lot different these days. Truth doesn’t change but challenges and perceptions really do. Be VERY prayerful before offering advice. Often the person talking will work their way into a solution or a better perspective, just by being allowed to vent.
Go to lunch. Or, grab some coffee, dinner or breakfast at least once a week with someone. Go with no agenda but to listen. Don’t go with preconceived ideas of what that person is facing or how you can help them. We really don’t know most of the people in our lives because we just don’t listen. At least once a week, give someone a chance to be listened to. You will be amazed at how quickly you will be thought of as loving and wise, even though you didn’t say a thing.
Expand your circles. You will be surprised at how much impact you can have by listening. Start close to home, but soon you’ll realize that there are many others who need to have someone listen. Be creative and make an every expanding circle of impact.
Listen and be blessed.
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