I was concerned that because of today’s topic, I would be suffering despair today for the first time in my life. After all my life seems to be a continuous example of whatever Oswald talks about on any given day. However, after reading OC’s definition of “despair” I really should not have been concerned. For OC despair comes when we realize that we have not done that which we had a magnificent opportunity to do. Been there done that. I have had much opportunity to despair in my life. My missed opportunities are too numerous to mention.
As an example, OC uses the disciples’ failure to stay awake and pray while Jesus was asking His Father to let the cup pass from Him. Certainly that was an opportunity for despair. But I guess what has kept me from despair is the Lord’s wonderful response to Peter’s three fold denial of Him. He three times asked Peter if He loved and Him and instructed Him to feed His sheep. As many times as we miss opportunities, it seems God always provides new opportunities to proclaim and act out our love for Him. Depression may haunt me; but His endless love and opportunities to serve Him keeps me from despair.
Today is a great example as I head toward Angola and another Kairos. I know He will use me if I will just empty myself; but much more I know I will be blessed more than any inmate by what will happen. Although there have been many times I have failed to take advantage of opportunity; this time I am not.
Most folks are at a loss as to why I go to Angola repeatedly. This question of despair is a small part of it. At Angola I get to know men most of whom face the rest of their lives in prison with almost no chance of release and such men live joyful and productive lives because of Jesus. To be used in any small way to add even one more man to the list of the joyful in the world’s largest prison church is a privilege beyond description.
Despair? I think not… Rather I am greatly blessed.
Nick
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