But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:15
I don’t know about you but I have a problem with forgiveness. It’s especially tough to forgive folks close to you because you see them so often. It seems sometimes that they are around just to rub salt in your wounds making forgiveness tough.
Forgiveness is terribly important. That may be why Satan works so hard to make it difficult for us. For me the problem is I think I’ve forgiven someone and moved on and I will see them or hear about them and the hurt returns.
I have heard many teachings on forgiveness and some of them are helpful. For example, it’s helpful to realize that the person you hold in unforgiveness is likely unaffected by you. He or she has probably moved on or maybe doesn’t even know that you were offended.
It’s helpful to consider that we focus way too much on rights. Forgiveness is giving up a “right” that we never really had. We have no right to hold a grudge or to hold another in unforgiveness.
Unforgiveness holds us back. It takes lots of our time and energy to fail to forgive. We can’t get it out of our head and it eats us up. It keeps us from doing the things we should be doing.
It is certainly helpful to remember how much we have been forgiven.
Perhaps the most helpful thing I have experienced is to make a decision to forgive and memorialize it in some way. In Kairos, we do a forgiveness ceremony in which we right down all those we need to forgive, including ourselves. We spend a couple of days doing this and finally, in a ceremony, we burn the lists. You might try doing something like that. I will warn you however that I have participated in these ceremonies many times and the same names often reappear on my list.
I think the best thing to do is to recognize that forgiveness doesn’t come naturally to us. It takes a supernatural power to truly and finally forgive. To have supernatural power we have to be a child of God, filled with the Holy Spirit. We must ask for that power.
Jesus help us to forgive. Give us the power to forgive as only you can forgive. Help us to exercise that power so that we may experience the peace and joy that only forgiveness can give.
Forgive and be blessed.
Nick
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