Change is tough. We become comfortable in our stages of life. Kids want to be adults, but not really. They want to have the freedom of adulthood without responsibility. That just doesn’t fly.
Adults more than ever don’t want to be “responsible” adults. Being “free” seems impossible when you “tie” yourself to a mate or have children intentionally or not. Without those ties and struggles, the blessings of adulthood are squandered.
“Empty nest” syndrome is a real thing. What’s a body to do when their lives have been devoted to children who no longer “need” them? Isn’t it time to stand back and watch the fruit of what God has done through your parenting. It’s too late to correct the mistakes of the past. God’s got this.
My latest encounter with change is moving from the production years to the “golden” years of retirement. Those who have worked “all their lives” to build “nest egg” can’t seem to find a reason to stop building and start enjoying. The egg for many is never big enough. I’m seventy. Although I try to stay healthy, my days are limited. I know folks live longer these days but does that really matter if life is not lived but only endured?
Folks my age, let’s call them golden, suddenly realize that life spans are limited. This realization probably isn’t really sudden; it’s just been pushed to the back of minds before they became golden.
At some point, a child has to decide to be an adult, or he lives a wasted life. Likewise, a parent has to decide his role is different. Grandchildren are to be enjoyed, not terrorized.
The decision not to let life be golden may be the saddest of all. Continuing in roles that are no longer necessary, productive or helpful are decisions not to decide and refusals to change.
The “golden” years are sometimes gold plated and not solid gold but neither is terrible. Consider:
It’s time to enjoy memories. For me, music seals memories. It’s okay to revisit the music that meant so much; just don’t forget to have an open mind to the new stuff. My favorite current album is Jesus is King, just for an example.
It’s time to enjoy your spouse. It is sad to see couples who have been hiding from each other. I know fifty-year marriages aren’t the norm anymore. Still, I don’t know all there is to know about my spouse. I look forward to great times together. There is no rush, but there is also no reason to miss out.
It’s time to enjoy God’s world. These times are “golden” because the sun seems brighter, flowers sell better, etc. It’s because you now have time to look. God created his creation as a reflection of himself. Give yourself a chance to see Him in it.
It’s time to enjoy your kids, grand and great-grand, but not on your schedule. Cherish the times you have and make the most of them. To enjoy is not to interfere or criticize. Develop relationships. If they need a word from you, they will ask. Facebook isn’t perfect, but it sure is helpful in keeping up.
It’s time to seek the face of God. This is the last stage before union with HIm; Seek His face in all that He has made and all that He does.
It’s time to get over yourself. You are not as great or as bad as you think you are. All that you have done was and is His work. It’s time to stop trying and try being.
A decision not to decide to be golden is a decision to stay the same. Why be stuck in a past when the future is so bright and golden.
I hope to re-read this often and expound and adjust, because, my friend, I’m talking to the mirror. You are just catching the reflection.
Love and Blessings.
Nick
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