John 13:35
English Standard Version (ESV)
35 A)’>tossed back and forth by the waves, C)’>15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, E)’>that is, Christ.
Yesterday was a great day. I always seem to enjoy the days I spend with my Kairos brothers and sisters. I wish I could say it’s because they are all perfect Christians; but they are not. They do seem to have the basics down. They are the most loving group I know.
It’s awful that Our Lord told us that others would know us by the way we love each other; yet, the world’s opinion of Christians is that they are “unloving.” I understand that part of the reason is that the world can’t handle the “truth” that Christ has given us. But I believe we need to accept some responsibility for this negative view of our kind.
Notice how unloving speech is a product of immaturity. It’s something that infants do. So do those who are not grounded in the truths of the faith. Speaking the truth in love is a sign of maturity. Kids may say the darnedest things, but loving Christians shouldn’t.
I believe the root of the problem is our failure to understand “speaking the truth in love.” We seem to feel that because something is true; it is fairly spoken at any time and in any situation. I have messed this up so many times, as my Kairos brethren can attest, that I have come up with some filters that I try to run my words through before speaking them. I often fail. But still I hope you will find these helpful.
1. Is it true? We shouldn’t be speaking anything at any time that isn’t true. So if it’s not true, just shut up.
2. Is it absolute truth or my opinion? Some of us have such a fine opinion of ourselves that we confuse those things which we believe with all our heart and those things that are absolutely true. The core beliefs of the Christian faith are, thank you Jesus, absolutely true. But there are many “minor” issues that some of us hold fast to that are strongly held beliefs, but may not be absolutely true. The great thing about this rule is that if universally followed, those who don’t believe in absolute truth would never say anything.
3. Is this the time to speak it? A dearly departed acquaintance may have been a horrible person; but his funeral may not be the time to speak out that truth. Our wife’s new outfit may not accent her assets, but there may never be a good time to point that out.
4. Am I the best one to speak this truth? One of the things I like about being in a Kairos group is that our relationships are so established that we trust each other. That makes it so much easier to speak the truth in love. It’s a truth that everyone who is not a disciple of Christ is going to hell. You may not be the best person to mention this to your boss or your company’s best customer. There is great wisdom in the adage: “Make a Friend, Be a Friend, Introduce a Friend to Jesus.” Before an absolute truth comes pouring out of your mouth. Check with the Holy Spirit to make sure that it really is true, that now’s the time to say it and that you’re the chosen speaker. Hard truths are best shared between persons who enjoy real relationship.
If we practice these rules, maybe people will begin to realize that we are Christians, those loving ones that follow Christ, and not those mean guys that think they are better than everyone else.
Be blessed.
Nick
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